While some people who lie want to protect the feelings of others and spare someone else pain or hurt, many people lie to protect their own feelings, self-esteem, self-confidence, or other personal emotion. As we come close to the end of another year, 2021, and look towards formulating our New Year resolutions (or not), Alokali Nurumi explores the relatively complex and conflict inducing act of lying in her article.
Why People Lie?
The Invention of Lying probably dates back to the invention of communication itself. In fact it has become a need for social existence and purposes. Some common reasons why people resort to lying are to please, to save your own face, to avoid favors, to avoid long conversations, to get benefits and to evade punishment.
“Honesty is the best policy” is a proverb which we know and have learnt for many years. However, everyone told their first lie when we were kids. Telling a lie is a very strange habit because it is not needed to teach or learn but everyone knows it automatically. Self-protection is the major factor of telling lies. According to researchers, upto ninety percent of people tell lies to protect themselves for dangers, punishment or some annoying activities. This is because they want to escape something they do not want to do or they have done before. There are two aspects of lying for self-protection, the positive way is, it helps us to avoid falling into the pitfalls and scam which are made by deceivers. While it’s negative aspect is that many people tend to cheat because they are irresponsible and want to avoid their punishment. Every culture holds up truth as a virtue, while lying is condemned as something that damages people’s lives. However, most people accept the fact that at least some kind of lying is a part of the daily life of our society. Most people find social lying as acceptable and necessary. They think it’s the civilized way for folks to behave. Without these little white lies, they say our relationship would be brutish and nasty.
People who lie often believe that others don’t know that they are lying. Liars pick up the tips, tricks and techniques which are equally available to everyone. Liars adopt newer and newer ways of evading exposure. When a person lies beyond acceptable limit, their image gets tarnished permanently. The consequences of repeated lying are grave. It spares none, not even the highest in the land. A lie is not just a playful aberration but an act of planned dishonesty for the sake of advantage. In the long run, no one ever flourished on lies, their mental health gets affected, and they experience emotional distress, loss of friendship and isolation. Is it possible to give up the habit of lying?
Yes, it is. One way is to trust our conscience or the instinctive negative response of the brain and refrain from telling a lie. The second is to make an effort to speak the truth, irrespective of the temptations. To someone, a white lie is nothing more than a reason or excuse rather than an untruth. The ethical philosophy behind telling a white lie is debated the world over by theologians and philosophers. Each individual must decide if telling a white lie is justified. If keeping someone from being hurt unduly means omitting the truth and no damage comes from the fib, most people not only feel it is justified but necessary. A more serious problem with lies occurs when lying becomes compulsive or pathological. The difference between the two ways is subtle, but it’s important to understand each. A compulsive liar uses lies as a way of life. Lying for any situation or for no reason takes the place of honesty. A compulsive liar lies because it serves the person in some old ways and takes comfort in lies. Telling the truth just doesn’t feel right to a compulsive liar who will bend the truth to fit her own needs and desires. Compulsive lying is often accompanied by other personality disorders like Narcissism. A pathological liar lies constantly to get what he wants, carrying little for who gets hurt along the way. Considered a copying mechanism, pathological liars often exhibit other personal disorders. Words that describe a pathological liar are deceptive, manipulative and selfish. Pathological liar actually believes their own lies but may change the story from telling to telling. Others realize the lie, but the liar often doesn’t and has no remorse. She will often make up things as she goes and seldom plans out a lie. Dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar is enough to try the patience of loved ones. Compulsive lying is a habit and pathological lying is an identity disorder. The consequences of repeated lying are grave. It spares none, not even the highest in the land. A lie is not just a playful observation but an act of planned dishonesty for the sake of advantage. All liars are scared of some terrible fate. In the long run, no one ever flourishes on lies. Their mental health gets affected, they experience emotional distress, loss of friendships and isolation, the bigger the scam, the bigger the man who takes his life to prevent public shaming.
A lie distorts our inner and outer world. To be a master of our soul, our being our brain we must confidently choose only the ethical and honest path. Once we are determined to speak, think and act only in truth, the habit of telling a lie should get rooted out forever.
Degree of Thought is a weekly community column initiated by Tetso College in partnership with The Morung Express. Degree of Thought will delve into the social, cultural, political and educational issues around us. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinion of the institution. Tetso College is a NAAC Accredited UGC recognised Commerce and Arts College. The editors are Dr Hewasa Lorin, Dr. Aniruddha Babar, Aienla A, Rinsit B Sareo, Meren Lemtur and Kvulo Lorin.
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