It’s been over fourteen weeks since the lockdown began and being cautious about the ongoing worldwide pandemic, I decided to stay back at my relative’s house instead of going back home, leaving nothing to chance or rather not wanting to take the risk. The first few weeks were alright, just the normal routine of online classes and assignments. But after some weeks, my father had to be hospitalised due to his ill health and being unable to be there for him was really heart-breaking. Stress kept building each day, also owing to the fact that I had barely any privacy in my relative’s house where a lot of people lived in one compound.
My father had gotten out of the hospital after a week and I had gotten a sense of relief, but it was only for a short moment. He was readmitted and this time, his condition was worse and when he talked to me, I swear I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I could just tell from the sound of his voice that he was very weak. It is not easy to hear the voice of someone who raised you up, fed you, clothed you, sacrificing everything he had, to be in this condition. I have been trying hard every day to keep up with the classes, the tests, assignments. But honestly, stress keeps building up and it’s taking everything I have just to keep calm.
And to anyone else going through something similar I just want to say hold on, just hold on and believe that things will get better. Live life one day at a time, even if it doesn’t get better today, there is still tomorrow and if not tomorrow the day after. Just hold on, it will get better, it has to get better.
It is not easy, trust me I know. I try to talk to my dad and mom happily just to show them that I am okay, just so that they need not worry for me. The hardest thing now is knowing that I might not be able to give back to my father, I might not be able to give him a peaceful retirement where he has to worry about nothing. Time might be running short and I don’t know if I will reach my goal on time.
But I am fighting each day trying to smile, to talk, trying to distract myself from my thoughts. I am holding on as best as I can believing that the green grass and bright blue skies are just over the hill, and just a little more and I will be there. Just another day or two, I can make it and realise my goal. Hold on for my sake too, pops, just a little while longer.
It will get better.
#TimesAreHard #Believe# HoldOn #StayStrong #OneMoreDay
Mmhatsu Humtsoe
MA
Tetso College